How I work
How I work with you and your baby
What actually happens in our sessions — and why we use video.
You don’t need to do anything special or perform. We’re not looking for perfect parenting moments — we’re looking for your moments.
The ones that are already there, happening every day in the ordinary rhythm of feeding, settling, playing, and getting through the morning. Here’s what that looks like in practice.
With your permission, I’ll film a short snippet of you and your baby together — just a few minutes of everyday interaction. That’s all it takes. Then we watch it back together, and I show you something you probably haven’t been able to see before: the moments where you’re already doing it. The turn of your head when your baby makes a sound. The pause you give before you speak. The way your baby stills when they hear your voice.
These moments go by in a heartbeat in real life. On video, we can slow them right down and really look at them together.
Becoming
You’re not just becoming a mother. You’re becoming yourself.
There’s a word for what happens to a woman when she becomes a mother: matrescence. Like adolescence, it’s a profound developmental transition — one that reshapes your identity, your body, your relationships, and your sense of who you are in the world. And like adolescence, it doesn’t happen overnight. It unfolds. It’s messy and nonlinear and full of moments where you don’t quite recognise yourself.
What rarely gets said is that this transition happens in relationship — between you and your baby, yes, but also between you and the version of yourself you’re still becoming. You are both works in progress. You are both, in the most beautiful sense, new.
The work we do together holds that truth. I’m not here to fast-track you to a finished version of motherhood. I’m here to support you inside the becoming — to help you find your footing, trust your instincts, and see the mother you already are, even when she’s hard to recognise.
Why video?
Why not just talk about it?
Because what you hear about yourself and what you see about yourself are completely different things.
Most mums come in carrying a story about themselves — that they’re getting it wrong, that they’re missing something, that their baby somehow deserves better. Talking about parenting can sometimes reinforce that story, because it stays in the realm of words and opinions and worry.
Seeing yourself on screen — seeing the moment your baby looks up at you and you’re already looking back — that lands differently. It’s evidence. It’s yours. It’s not me telling you you’re doing well; it’s you seeing it for yourself.
This matters especially in matrescence, when your sense of self is already tender and uncertain. The last thing you need is another opinion about who you should be. What you need is a clear reflection of who you already are — and what’s already alive between you and your baby.
In the moments
What am I actually looking for?
I’m watching for the moments of connection — what in Marte Meo we call developmentally supportive interaction.
Following your baby’s lead
Noticing what captures their attention and meeting them there, rather than redirecting or entertaining. When you turn toward what your baby is looking at and name it softly, you’re telling them: your interests matter. I see you.
Naming what’s happening
Putting simple words to what your baby is doing gives them something profound: the experience of being understood before they even have language to ask for it.
Attentive waiting
The quiet pause where you give your baby space to respond, to initiate, to have an idea. These moments build self-confidence at the deepest level — the felt sense that I have something to offer. Someone is interested in me.
Leading gently
Part of what we look at together is how you help your baby navigate structure and transitions in a way that feels safe rather than pressured.
None of this is technique. It’s your relationship, made visible.
What changes?
You stop scanning for what’s going wrong
When you start to see yourself through this lens, something shifts. You begin to read your baby’s cues with more confidence — not because I’ve given you a manual, but because you’ve seen the evidence of your own attunement, again and again, until it becomes something you trust.
Matrescence asks you to grieve the self you were and grow into the self you’re becoming — and that’s real, and it’s hard. But it also asks you to discover capacities you didn’t know you had. Often, the video shows you exactly that: a version of yourself you hadn’t yet let yourself believe in.
And the ripple goes both ways. When a mother feels seen and capable, her baby feels it too. The relationship between your emotional state and your baby’s sense of security is one of the most well-evidenced connections in infant development. This work holds both of you.
A note on what this isn’t
This isn’t about watching yourself to find what you’re doing wrong. I only ever bring back clips that show connection, warmth, and capability — because those are the moments that teach. Correction doesn’t build confidence. Seeing your own strengths, clearly and concretely, does.
Matrescence is not a problem to be fixed. It’s a passage to be supported. You come in as the expert on your baby. I come in as someone who knows what to look for and how to show it back to you. That’s the whole thing.
Let’s talk about you and your baby, and where you’d like to be
You can read more about this work on the You and your baby page — or simply reach out.